Wisdom Col 1:9-29, Fasting Isa 58:7-14, Gym 1 Tim 4:8, Health Ps 103:2-5... Wisdom & Fasting: There are a lot of things I am seeking The LORD for wisdom in this season: I need health and ask a special grace for a season of fasting -- Isaiah 58:7-14...
Gym: I'd like to start going to the gym regularly again as I did last year when in fellowship w/ the evangelism center, for bodily discipline does have some profit (especially in hot oversees regions where you walk up and down hills and mountains a lot), of course godliness is greater gain, 1 Tim 4:8. To take hold of one without letting go on the other, Ecc 7:18, even keeping spirit, soul and body blameless to the appearing of Jesus Christ, 1 Thes 5:23, Jude 1:24-25.
Health: Have been on three antibiotics, still lingering... I ask for all The LORD'S benefits: pardon, healing, crowning with tender mercy & compassion, satisfying my years with good things that my youth is renewed as the eagle, Ps 103:2-5, That by his stripes I'd be healed, Isa 53:5, Matt 8:7, 1 Pet 2:24.
For the request for more of the presence of GOD (seek Me and find Me when search with All your heart, Jer 29:13, to greater freedom, protection from evil, Jn 17:15.
My wife's salvation, sanctification and I am still open to possible reconciliation, but she needs a change of heart and I need assurance having failed to properly "lead the way" last time when I tried mid Jan to mid April. (Reacted in anger when after finding the hard, physical evidences [emails of stolen money, pictures of men, dating sites, social media, etc -- not that I was walking as I am now, I was drinking, going online and in despair by being left alone in another country, so I was in need of pardoning mercy and repentance -- of which I was willing to confess and forsake them all between April - July 2025 and erroneously thought she would do the same, and that she'd have the same response, but she maintained in denial over it all 9even after I found all the evidence) and just left, 3X, each one longer, and was unwilling to go to marital counseling over to which we'd agreed to prior to my attempt] -- Jesus was probably aware of Judas' habits but He loved him to the very end -- so I would like to know what I did wrong, so as to not ever repeat it, but that's why I'm seeking, confessing, and asking for prayer -- I shouldn't have brought it up -- or at least not been angry when it was denied -- we should have brought it up with pastors -- anger is what I confess most and with which I am still struggling -- the dishonesty and lack of respect -- Jesus didn't let it bother Him -- I was supposed to "lead the way" and failed, 1 Jn 4:17, 1 Jn 2:5, Col 3:14 Rom 13:10 1 Jn 3:19-20)...
She has been saying she wants the "D" word since March... The pastors in U.S. that told me to "pray and fast" last year have told me to move on since April... It's definitely a soul tie and it's tearing at me... She says I can be a father but she really only wants money not me and I'm unsure if she's seeing others still...
I am willing to forgive all but would like a clean confession, repentance and pastoral & biblical counseling... I also need to decide what to pursue here, obviously the Lord, but I'd lost over 50 lbs (gained back about 8-12) and pretty much am stuck having most counsel saying to move on but that's it's own set of challenges...
Paul had unceasing grief in his heart over Israel's condition, his heart's desire and prayer to God was for their salvation, but it launches him into discussions of the mysteries of sovereignty, free-will and election, so if they are out of the hands of Paul, I say with Augustine, "the well is deep, that I can see, but to fathom it -- that it unattainable."
The relationship with my son on video still needs some structure, added blessing, connection, to being filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and understanding so I may walk more worthily and more by faith, with fruit, strength and joyful and effective ministry to The Lord, the saints and the lost, Col 1:9-29, and for my love to abound in more knowledge and discernment. She has pretty much just let him grow up very much opposite of what I'd like, but if the little time I have may be used of God I believe that would be The will of The Lord in that matter...
I do well in the evangelistic ministry down south: it keeps me hot for the Lord (where I am m servant will be also, Jn 12:26 -- and Jesus did come to seek and save the lost, Lk 19:10, and come into the world to save sinners, among whom I am chief, 1 Tim 1:15 -- and we have prayer meetings like 3X a week, as well as other fellowship opportunities... Was really doing well there and back in Philippines still had evangelistic zeal, but family pressure and really a refusal by her to allow me to lead, were at that time insurmountable -- perhaps I was early???
Anyway I am hanging on here, helping old father and stepmom some, doing evangelism 1 night a week w/ church, have one new believer to help, but Jesus did say some particular things about those who are called to be willing to "forsake everything" and even such things as, "follow me and not look back once putting your hand to the plow." Dad and stepmom do have a better pastor now, and he and they are strengthened by my visits, and Jesus does say I can't say everything is devoted to God, but I'm not certain that applies to those he does call forward... Therefore the need of prayer and fasting...
As always, freedom from temptation, Lk 11:4, deception, Matt 24:4, lies, evil people, falsehood, fear, sin, Zeph 3:13, 1 Cor 8:1, 2 Tim 3:5, 2 Thes 3:2, and the evil one himself, Matt 6:13, Jn 17:15, 1 Jn 5:18-21.
Thank you for praying with me in these matters, in Jesus' Name...